So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I see more hoeing in ur future
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