I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
