It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
