my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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