the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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