He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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