I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
