I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
