It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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