i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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