Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
