Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
