I wannas sexs uuuuu
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Alive.
So much puke
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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