You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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