i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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