Jerry, you need to find god
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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