You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
