the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
