Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just threw up on my dentist
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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