so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
