dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
we're making bets on your personal life
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
