The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
