David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
