You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize