I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
