areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm eating all of the evidence.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
