Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
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