I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
