I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
