just come out here and I will go home with you...
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
