doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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