woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize