Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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