Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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