And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
