Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
