Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize