pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
