hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
