i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize