We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize