You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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