I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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