I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
