haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
