the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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