I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Randomize
