I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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