The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
