Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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