I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
