Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
