If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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