so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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