It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
These tits shall not be calmed
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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