you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
