How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Randomize
