mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Sext me about skeletons
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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