Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
