Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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