maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
The struggles of a small town man whore
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