Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize