Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
