i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
A+ Viking dick
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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