i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
