Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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