I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
