so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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