Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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